In which Bex makes Red Velvet Cupackes. Which I don't eat.

I've been a slightly rubbish vegan today. Not that I've eaten anything I shouldn't have - I've simply spent a lot of the day moaning, and sighing audibly and pointedly whenever I happened to glance at something delicious and dairy based. You see, I like vegetables. I like pulses. I like fruit and I like nuts. But sometimes, just sometimes, there's an emotional need that only high-fat dairy products can satisfy. And this has been the week that my bank card decided it no longer wanted to be a bank card, and my left ear decided it no longer wanted to be an ear. So emotional need has been, shall we say, somewhat higher than usual. Even tomato soup, the vegetarian's chicken-soup-for-the-soul, I discovered today, is off limits. Which left me with the very comforting option of a hummus bagette for lunch. Don't get me wrong, it was delicious, but it's all just a little flat, getting a little monotonous. I long for chocolate. I long for ice cream. I long for banoffee pie. I LONG FOR CHEESE. Oh, sweet, sweet cheese.

But I stayed strong. It helps massively that I've discovered that cashews are delicious, and that grapes are nowhere as expensive as I once thought they were. Also, things picked up massively this evening when Tom's housemates invited me over for dinner and fed me a hearty winter vegetable stew, which was exactly the kind of soul food I'd been needing. Bex had also been baking. I guess this should've been incredibly frustrating, but instead I found it deeply comforting to be around the smells of baking, around someone smothering cakes in buttercream. And it also helped that Bex and I had a bottle of wine to share before Ed got home.

Tomorrow I'll try and be a more positive vegan. I have bought grapes, and apples, and a red pepper, and I've just remembered that there's a little vegan deli/café around the corner from where I work. But, just in case I have another day like today, I've made a little desktop reminder to KEEP. ON. GOING.